Rainbows

I was reading the story of the flood and Gen 9:8-16 really stood out. I think we tend to forget that a rainbow is a convenient from God. It is His promise to us of His mercy and grace and also demonstrates His power. Just as when I take communion to remember Christ and His saving blood, I will look at rainbows and think of God.

 

I was looking through my computer just now, finding old things I had written and forgotten about. Most things I found were prayers at times when I couldn’t think clearly. I read something that surprised me. Sometimes things are so obviously from God, I just know the things my mind is not capable of on it’s own.

I would like to share part of what I wrote:

God will fulfill my life if I focus on Him and His great being. I am called to be something great for Him. To show Him and His love broadly and clearly, with a clear head and a humble heart. Guild me in these words…. These are my words. Words God has given me. He has a plan for me and my desire is to be ready to be boxed and sent. Dance in His love, cry for those who are lost, crumble and break in His presence. I don’t want to feel weak because of the weight of the world but because I have given every bit of me to God.

 

His Time and His Love

I was thinking about people leaving. My job is wonderful, I have some of the best interactions at work; the sad part of it has stayed true for the whole time I’ve been there. People leave. I have had more budding relationship and spiritual conversations then anywhere before and they were cut off because people leave. I don’t blame them, life moves forward and one day I will leave the store and perhaps some sad people behind. The truth is we cannot fight change or really predict either, and to that I can say it is difficult but God is brilliant.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

- Ecclesiastes 3:11

It is such a hard thing to admit sometimes, that God has a plan we can’t even imagine while we plan out our day hour by hour and think about 10 year plans. I once thought about God’s will as a puzzle continually being put together, we only see a piece here and there. Ultimately God’s plan surpasses our own and as a believer I can choose to surrender.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

- Matthew 6:34

What does that include? We cannot just sit around and “let God take care of everything.” That is why the key word of this verse is worry. The most meaningful definition of worry, for me, is “disturb the peace of mind.” To not worry is have peace of mind and when God allows tragedy or creates change in our life what is the best spiritual gift He can give us, peace. I like to read that verse and then backtrack.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will I eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

- Matthew 6:31-33

We know not to worry, not to fold thoughts over and over again in our mind. In my life God speaks through peaces, through silence, a reason why it can be so hard for me to hear Him (my crowded mind).

There are still things that make this difficult to come to terms with. I’d like to give the verse that led me to the second verse, but I cannot find it so I will summarize… Paul is leaving and says that he cannot promise he will return and my bible gives this verse.

“Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life with be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “if the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil.”

- James 5:13-16

How can we be certain in each other at all? I have a really hard time with cancelled plans, it is like a shock to the system when it is something I was looking forward to, this also goes for the people leaving me. I must remember to have grace, especially to those believers who are following God. I remind myself that this is not a time of rest, this is a time to move and I should want to move with them.

Here comes my final comment (it isn’t a short comment). Wanting.

On the Seekers retreat we talked about admitting our desires to God. I think a lot of us tend to “be safe” with God, to just talk to God about the things we know He would want to hear or for us to think about. We put those childish, foolish inner desires deep in our hearts and minds and sometimes they grow and cause problems. I wrote down at the retreat how when we don’t talk to God about things it means we are trying to solve the problems on our own which is useless. God cares about even the stupid desires of our flesh.

As I thought about things earlier today and then kneeled to pray and lay out my current desires, I was reminded of Christ. I prayed “I want… I want…” and then I prayed that God’s will was more important.

“Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’”

-Matthew 26:39

Jesus knew what was coming before he died, he knew his fate and how important it all was, yet he admitted his desires.

God wants us to come to Him and we wants us to be us; no masks, no exhausted phrase and no apologizing for coming to Him with our desires. So don’t worry about tomorrow, don’t think your stupid for not know exactly what God plans for you or for not always knowing how to follow it. He knows. He knows what your heart feelings and what your mind thinks.

 

Let It All Out

I don’t blog very often anymore… There are many wonderful, wonderful reasons for that, people that have brought joy and light to my life. I don’t think anyone could truly know how God has blessed me when I haven’t deserved, how God has answered prayer when I sadly didn’t expect HIm to quite as fully. My life right now has love and friendship and all I can say is don’t stop believing…. hold on to that feeling…. God is there for you, not against you. Even when things hurt and even though in our flesh we will never be whole, God will take care of us.

This is photo is a description of my joy:

 

God, thanks for saving my butt

Seriously though, God has done two things in the last week that have really been great. I was going to think of some other thing to say there but nothing came to mind, so you get what you get.

1.) First, last Saturday, I spent most of the morning sleeping and the rest with Shannon drinking coffee. After Shannon left I decided to watch a movie and do laundry. At this point I hadn’t seen any of my family all day but didn’t think much of it, I thought it was still a weekday. I continued sitting around, ate a fancy lunch and was maybe going to cramp in some errands before I went to work. Well I realize at 2 that Abby’s first swim meet was that day. I remembered my mom saying it was a home meet and that I should come. Well I quickly showered and spent the whole time beating myself up about how I wasted the day. I called Abby to apologize because I knew the meet had to over by then and I really needed to get ready for work. Abby wasn’t angry at all, turns out the first meet was not a home one, next week was the first home meet.

God taught me not to waste my day, with out me hurting my sister’s feelings like I thought.

2.) Several nights ago I was getting ready for bed, which includes turning on my dvd player and reading my bible before I turn on the TV to fall asleep to whatever movie is in. I fall asleep to a movie essentially because of the reasons in the post below. Anyways, I got half way through the chapter I was reading and decided I was too tired and so I put down my bible and turn on the TV. It took me a little while to notice but it turns out there was no sound, this didn’t surprise me because it is an old TV and could break at anytime. I was a little worried about falling asleep. I decided just to turn on some David Crowder and Leeland and read some more bible. I read Psalm 119 aloud… do it and you’ll know. It was a wonderful night with God.

Now, about ten minutes ago, I turned on my TV for the first time since that night to see if I could solve the sound problem. Turns out that the speakers were off…

God broke my habit of having to fall asleep with the TV on, gave me some time with Him and I don’t have to buy a new TV or be TVless.